Change Us Lord

Satan....I really don't like him!  It seems that when I am really trying to do all I can to live like the Lord wants me to....up pops satans ugly little head!!  He just really goes on the attack and more often than not I do something....say something....that I regret.  This all takes me back to the same scripture that I used last night...except a little more detail.  I need a little more in depth detail at times!

Matthew 16:24-26(AMP)

²⁴ Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, and forget himself and his own interests] and take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying, also].

²⁵ For whoever is bent on saving his [temporal] life [his comfort and security here] shall lose it [eternal life]; and whoever loses his life [his comfort and security here] for My sake shall find it [life everlasting].

Sometimes I get so tired of my own self because I feel as if I am just conforming to the world....my world....around me.  I know that there are times when I need to deny myself....lose sight of....my own interests and only be concerned about what the Lord wants from me.  So why don't I do that?  Because it's hard....hard to conform completely to the will of the Lord.  Satan fills you with thoughts and feelings that aren't from God.  Why?

Because Satan doesn't want me....or you....to be who God wants us to be.  He doesn't want us to do what God had planned for us from the beginning.  Satan wants us to stay afraid....stuck in our own little comfortable (sometimes) world....doing what we have always done.  Better yet....not stepping out and trusting the Lord to do....or accept something....that would make our life better.  Satan wants us to be miserable in all we do....or don't do.  What would make our life better?....

Living our life so that others ask us what is different about us.  Allowing the Lord to radically change us....our thoughts....our words....our attitudes.  Jesus only wants what's good for us.  He knows that if we follow Him....give up our own wants....and live radically for Him....we will have the life we have always wanted.  Jesus will fill our thoughts....our lives....with good things.  If we give up and just say....okay Lord....we will find real life where ever He has us.  

In the day and time that we are living we really need to be radical for the Lord!  I was talking to a great friend tonight who has taught me many things.  One thing she said to me was...."I asked myself, What did I accomplish for the Lord today?"  That one statement....which might not be exact....really hit me.  It made me think....What did I do today?  Did I talk to anyone....anyone at all....about Jesus today?  No....and I believe there is a good reason for that.  I didn't ask the Lord to give me an opportunity to speak His Words into someone's life today!  Have I prayed for anyone today?  Actually....no!   I believe that if we ask Him to give us those opportunities....He will.  

The only way I can think of to end this is with a prayer....

Lord I come to you tonight and ask your forgiveness for not doing anything for You today.  Tomorrow could You please put someone in my life that needs to hear about You.  When You do that could You please give me the words to say....from You....and the boldness I need to say them.  Let them only see You in the words I speak and let them feel Your love.  Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer.  In Your name I ask this....Amen

Follow Him

Do you ever have those days when you just want to have an old time....what they use to call....song service?  I sure do!  Yes....some of the new contemporary music is good.  How Great Is Our God is one of my absolute favorite songs.  But oh how I also love to sing....How Great Thou Art!  And then there is....What A Day That Will Be....Pass Me Not O Gentle Savior....The Old Rugged Cross....There's A Sweet Sweet Spirit In This Place....Oh there are so many good ones!  I am being old fashioned right now and I know I can sing them as often as I like at home.  But for me, I would love to sing and worship the Lord in a church setting....with other believers....raising our hands in worship....singing some of these songs.  They just have a good feeling to them....the words and the music take you home one more time.  Not just our earthly home but also our Heavenly home.  

Thinking on this makes me also want to say....

We just need to allow the Lord to set us free from all the things that have us all tied up.  Jesus wants us to be free and He wants us to allow Him to have free reign in our life.  When we do that then He is able to work in us and give us the things He wants us to have.  When we allow Him to set us free from all of the things we hold onto....fear and doubt being major ones....then we will be truly free and He can do things in our life that we really never thought were possible.  When the Lord presents you with opportunities you need to take them especially when you know that's what He wants you to do....even when you don't think you can do it....that same opportunity may never come again.  If you don't you could be really missing out on what the Lord has for you. 

To tie both of these things together....

Doing things together....with other Christians....is good.  Whether it be inside the walls of the church or in another setting.  The Lord moves anywhere that we are gathered together.

These things are probably on my mind tonight because of  what happened in my day today.  Whatever the reason is....I just needed to write my thoughts...and feelings....tonight because I am learning that the more I let go....the more Jesus is real to me. 

I didn't have a scripture to share so I just opened my bible and this is what I read. Knowing where my thoughts are coming from....this is what the scripture needs to be.

Matthew 16:24-25

Take Up the Cross and Follow Him

²⁴ Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. ²⁵ For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

"until we see JESUS....face to face"

81007

August 10th is a landmark day for me.  Seven years ago Jesus forgave me of my sins and saved me from hell.  I am forever grateful!  Though I have failed Him many times....Jesus has never failed me. 
I just wanted to thank Him for letting me live one more year with Him. Jesus is the best thing that ever happened in my life!

"until we see JESUS....face to face"

Standing On Solid Ground

As I have been reading in the Word this week something inside of me has changed.  I had written about having so many things to say....but couldn't seem to get them out.  I was frustrated with the whole process of....well....the jumbled mess of my thoughts!!  I've been there before....sooo many times....and knew if I could start the process of sorting it out through writing the words down....I would be able to hear again....live again.  And right now....this very moment in time....I am so thankful....grateful....for all that I am hearing within.  God is good and I know that He loves me.  While walking through this I asked the Lord for a few things.  One was to give me a desire....really what I asked was for....a consuming desire....to read and study His Word like I had before.  Well let me tell you....God is faithful!  The last couple of days I have that again.  I read a chapter and things....words....thoughts....just pop out at me!  Seems I want to underline everything!!  Then there's the understanding of what I read....it is there.  And writing....Yes!  He is giving me much to write....maybe to share....and I am so thankful.

I know that there will always be times of discouragement....not hearing....not listening....in my life.  But I will always try to remember this....

Through it all....the highs and the lows of life....God is faithful to all of us.  He loves us with an amazing love that we can't even come close to comprehending.  We just have to keep praying....trusting....believing....and knowing that....all is well because we have JESUS!

Psalm 26:12
Now I stand on solid ground,
and will publicly praise the Lord.

"until we see JESUS....face to face"

One More Time

Psalms 25:1-2a

1 O Lord, I give my life to you.
2 I trust in you, my God!

This morning I read Psalm 25.  The whole chapter is amazing!  I read the NLT version and those first two lines just jumped off the page at me!  In fact, I just keep going back and rereading them.  My thoughts seem to be captured by these words....

O LORD, I give my life to YOU. 
I trust in YOU, my GOD!

How many times have I said these words?  How many times do I really mean it and live it? 
With my whole heart....with everything I have in me....one more time....this morning I say it and mean it.  With my whole heart....soul....and mind....I make this choice....to live those words today....everyday....for the rest of my life. I am Yours....thank You for forgiving me and saving me....giving me new life in YOU!

Here is the Amplified version....

¹ Unto You, O Lord, do I bring my life.

² O my God, I trust, lean on, rely on, and am confident in You. 

When I read this version it changed my thought pattern a bit.  Not only am I giving the Lord my life but I am presenting my life to Him.  As in....

Here it all is Lord....every little piece of it....me.  I'm putting it all out there for You.  Not only am I trusting You with my life but I am relying solely on you to take care of me.  I am leaning on You....and You alone....putting all my trust....hope....and confidence in You.  There is no one else I trust with me....but You!  

"until we see JESUS....face to face"

It's What I Want

To really thrive....to grow....continually....you must stay close.  To stay close to the Lord....to actually live in His love....mercy....grace....you have to work at it.  Talking to Him on a continuous basis....reading His Word....His awesome Word....being careful of how we live....draws us closer and closer.  That's what I want....how I want to live....close to my Jesus!!  I have found that I am not full of answers....I need to keep learning and gaining more and more knowledge....in the Word.  Jesus is my strength....I gain strength from no one else.  Jesus is my Rock and fortress.  But....most of all....Jesus is my Savior.  I may fail Him daily however....Jesus has never failed me and He never will.  I have had....and sometimes still do....many dark places of my own making in my life.  But Jesus....Jesus is the Light that lights all my dark places now.  I just need to keep walking with Him and not get off the path that He has laid down for me.  Thank you Lord for all that You have done for me!!

Psalms 18:1-2 & 28

¹ I love you, Lord;
    you are my strength.
² The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
    my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
    and my place of safety.

²⁸ You light a lamp for me.
    The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.

"until we see JESUS....face to face"

Keep Seeking

Psalms 10:1

O Lord, why do You stand so far away?
Why do You hide when I am in trouble?

When you're in the midst of a bad time....when you just can't seem to get your thoughts straight....do you feel this way?  That's me....I do....and I think it's because He isn't really letting me feel that He is right there with me.  My thought is....He wants me to just know that He is with me....through it all....all the time!  He wants me to trust....have faith....that He hasn't....never will....leave me.  He wants me to bring my problem to Him instead of retreating inside.  I wonder....

How many of us do that?! 

That takes me back to a verse I have read many times....

Psalms 9:10

Those who know Your name trust in You,
For You, O Lord, do not abandon those
who search for You.

I love this verse and believe that David really believed what he was saying.  I too believe that the Lord won't abandon us.  I am reminded of another verse as well....

Jeremiah 29:13

And you will seek Me and find Me,
when you search for Me with your whole heart.

Keep seeking....praying....trusting....believing....with everything you have in you....until you know....beyond any doubt....that all is well....

"until we see JESUS....face to face"

He Is My Shepherd

Getting ready for work this morning it became quite clear to me what I need.  Psalms 23 has long been  a favorite of mine.  I remember as a child learning this when a children's evangelist would come to our church each year for a week.  I learned this passage because I wanted to win a prize but the pictures he presented along with it always drew me in....I just didn't know whom I was being drawn too.  This morning I have a whole new take on it....

Yes....I know the Lord is my Shepherd....but I have a hard time letting Him always lead.  But what I want....I want Him to lead me into those green meadows and walk with me beside those peaceful streams.  I need to willingly let go of everything and just go there!  When I do that I know that He is more than capable of renewing my strength....my daily strength and my strength in Him.  Strength to meet Him in those dark places that I can't seem to leave behind.  I want to walk all the paths of my life with Him and I want to only bring honor to the Lord....not shame.  I have walked....as we all have....through many dark places in my life....most of them were of my own making.  Yet I am trying so hard to not be afraid when in my mind I remember....trying to let go....why is it so hard....for all of us....for me....to do that at times.  Knowing that He is there to protect and comfort me....knowing that all I want is more and more of Jesus!  The Lord has prepared so much for me and is still.  I am well taken care of and yes I have many blessings.  He has always loved me with unfailing....unending love....that I can't even come close to comprehending.  He has pursued me all of my life and all I ever did was run....and fail miserably.  But I have a goal and that is....too live with our Lord....my Lord....forever....in unending love!

Read Psalms 23....it is wonderful and freeing....if you will let it be....


"until we see JESUS....face to face"

A Jumbled Mess

For awhile now I have had many many thoughts but I just can't seem to sort them out enough to write them down.  In my minds eye I see them as a jumbled up mess of yarn with no end in sight to grab a hold of.  If I could just get a hold of the end....I could pull and unravel the mess....then fix the problem.  In my heart I know what it is....why I can't write....but I can't sort through it until I do write.  Does that make any sense at all??!!  Because....it somehow does make sense to me....so I am writing.  You may want to opt out of reading this now....if not....it  could be a different sort of ride.

It's taken me a while to get to this point but here it is....

I believe satan is in the middle of all of this.  Right in the middle of my mess of yarn....holding on to both ends.  I pull and dig....looking for the end....the solution....but he knows I have not been ready to turn it loose and give it to the Lord.  That's a revelation for me right there.  I didn't know it either until just now.  Writing....writing is good for me....I listen when I write.  Writing is like a therapy session for me....the Lords therapy. 

Another revelation....in the first paragraph I said....

If I could unravel the mess I could fix the problem.  There it is....I can't fix the problem....only God can!  I know these things....I know!!  In church this morning we heard about sin....confessing it....forgiveness....forgiving ourself.  The whole sermon just brought it all right back to the mess in my head.  I knew it then and I know it now....I just don't like it. 

Some of the sermon....

Psalms 51....David asks God for mercy...asks for forgiveness.  God will do that for us....we just need to be sincere and believe.  For some things I have a hard time believing it.  As the Pastor said....and as I know from experience....it is hard to forgive yourself for some things.  My thought....If you can't forgive yourself does God still forgive you?  I don't know and that scares me.  Pastor also said something that is so true that I would like to share with you....

All sin is the same in essence, but all sin is not the same in consequence. 

That is the best way I have heard sin described....it hit home to me.  I have heard it said so many times that....sin is sin.  True.  But for me sin is on a scale.  1 is the least offensive and 10 is setting off all the bells and whistles there are!!  They're all the same....essence....but some just have lasting effects you can't get away from....consequence! 

This afternoon I heard a song that was really good.  The only words I can remember are....

Jesus Your presence is Heaven to me.  To me that one line is so true.  If you can just get into the presence of the Lord....you will be okay!  Jesus will help you to work it out!!  I have truly been in....and felt....His presence within me before and it is the best thing ever!!  All the bad....the heartsick....the feelings you just can't explain to anyone....melt away! 

His presence....get into His presence.  Turn your eyes....your hearts eye....towards Him. 

The mess of yarn is about half as big now so.....

I will end this with a scripture that sits on my desk.

Matthew 11:28-29

²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

"until we see Jesus....face to face"