Wednesday, April 5, 2017

A Box End Wrench's a hard fact.  When someone you love has it...well just plainly sucks. 
For a long time I have known the day would come when he didn't know me any longer.  Yes...many times he says he does but really all he knows is my voice...not me. 

About two weeks ago it all started changing quickly.  We were talking and I asked..."Do you know who I am?"  "'re Chelle."  "But who am I to you?"  "I don't know."  Then before hanging up the phone, no matter how many times I said, "I love you"...he would not say it back.  First time ever....hard...

From the time I was very small he took me everywhere he went.  We worked on his logging truck when it broke down.  He would be under it and would ask me for a certain tool..."Hand me a 1/4inch box end wrench" he would say.  And I did.  I knew what everything in his toolboxes were.  I loved him so much...because he loved me so much...I wanted to know everything he knew and spend all the time I could with him.  We went to the parts stores...tire shops...picked up the logs at the landing in the woods...took them to the mills.  He also taught me how to fish...for bass mainly...and I loved it...and too hunt. 

These were the best times of my life.  When I wasn't in school I hung out with him as much as possible.  Hunting weekends...time spent having donuts and coffee...lunch on a boat and coffee...lunch on a hillside and coffee...playing spades all night and coffee...watching tv all night and coffee.  Yes...this is where my love for coffee all started...with my Dad.  Yet now...he couldn't care less about coffee. 

So tonight I'm having a bit of a hard time wrapping my mind around it all.  Though you know the day is coming when your heart will want to fall out of your chest because he doesn't know really don't know what it will be like.  Well...It's something you keep experiencing again and again. 

Oh...what I wouldn't give for a box end wrench...a donut...and a cup of coffee...

What I know for now is...

What is broken here on earth will one day be restored in heaven.  We all will be made whole...mind body and soul. For now...while we are still on this earth in our broken bodies...the best thing we can do is run to Jesus with all of this.  He alone can help us through the hard times of life.  Right now I can't even think of any scriptures to add...but the Lord knows my heart.

"until we see JESUS...face to face"



  1. Hi Chelle, thinking of you in this hard time.
    God bless

  2. Hi Chelle,
    just to let you know regarding your father. I used to work in care work, with people with alzheimer's and dementure, and nothing is black and white. I remember going to visit one lady every Friday night. She used to have a tot of whisky every time I visited (a tot (small glass) of whisky can help keep the arteries open and clean the blood, and then go to her front door. The first night I stood at her door she looked into her garden and said 'Who are those children in my garden?' (they were tall chrysanthemums). I said 'They are not children, they are chrysanthemums'.
    The following Friday I went again and after she had her tot of whiskey she stood at the door and said again 'Who are those children in my garden?' I said 'They are not children, do you remember what I said they were?' She did not say 'chrysanthemums' , but she said 'Ah, flowers!'.
    It made my day.
    Always encourage people with these problems to remember things in their lives and bring every day things into conversations. Also - God can do all things that man can not do. I pray that your father's health will be improved.